All houses are haunted this time of year

 

Oh the fun to be had with a dollhouse, some Scooby Doo figures, and a color printer.  I think I had as much fun with it as my daughter did.

Don’t look behind you, Scoob.

Click pick to embiggen.

Things I miss about childhood, #1,703

Movie trading cards.

In the late ’70s, for every movie blockbuster there was a set of trading cards.  You could go straight from the theater, still starry-eyed from the latest big-screen special effects bonanza, to the corner convenience store (usually UDF for us in Cincy) and pick up a pack of bubble-gum cards based the movie. 

As you chewed the rock-hard stick of chemical compounds they called bubble-gum you flipped through the cards one-by-one hoping to find those last few you needed to complete your collection. 

“Got it.  Got it.  Got it.  Need it.  Got it.”

Of course like most other movie merchandising money-makers it all started with Star Wars.  Imagine my excitement in 1977 when, not long after seeing the original Star Wars in the theater, I learned that for a small chunk of my allowance I could relive some of the movie’s great moments, wrap them in a rubber band, and store them in a shoe box. 

That year Topps card company issued five different series of Star Wars cards, differentiated by the color of the border.  The first series had a blue border, then came red, yellow, green and orange.  I hate to think how much money I spent trying to collect every card in those series.  As a kid I managed to complete all but the red and orange series (the former of which I’ve since completed thanks to eBay).

For years afterwards, movies replaced baseball as my trading cards of choice, and I collected all I could find (and afford).

In a time when the internet gives us immediate access to screen shots, trivia, and fan discussions about our favorite movies, it must be tough to imagine staring at cardboard rectangles for hours at a time in order to recapture the magic of a summer blockbuster.  But I wouldn’t have given them up for the world.

And I have some doubles if you need them.

Pricing FAIL

5 things that can ruin an otherwise great video game

In no particular order.

1.  Lack of save points.  Back when I was twelve years old and had no real responsibilities I didn’t care about save points.  But now that I have a job and a family I can’t play video games for hours at a time anymore, so I need to be able to save a game when and where I want.  Few things are more annoying than needing to quit a game when you’re nowhere near a save point, knowing that you’ll have to replay the last thirty minutes of the game you just fought your way through.

A major offender:  Ghostbusters.

 

2.  A horrible camera.  Video games are tough enough when you can see what you’re doing.  When a game gives you a bad angle for a jump or a battle, the game goes from difficult to annoying. 

A major offender:  Any 3D Zelda game.

 

3. Non-skippable cut scenes.  When I play through a game the first time I usually stick with the cut scenes because I like following the plot.  But if I have to replay a level or take repeated shots at a boss, I have no desire to go through all the pre-rendered video and dialog again.  Let me hit one button and get straight to the action.

A major offender:  Mass Effect.

 

4.  Magically re-spawning baddies.  You walk into a room, get ambushed by several creatures, spend several minutes killing them off, only to walk back into the same room five minutes later and see the exact same creatures.  This is incredibly annoying in games that require backtracking and revisiting the same areas.  Once you clear a room it should stay cleared. 

A major offender:  Chrono Trigger.

 

5.  Random battles.  You’re looking at the map and happily moving your character down the road when SWIIIIISSSSSSH — the screen swirls and zooms and suddenly you’re surrounded by enemies.  Where the hell did they come from?  They weren’t on the screen when you were walking.  Nothing drives me crazy like trying to get from point A to point B on a map only to be interrupted every ten steps with a battle.

A major offender: Any Final Fantasy game. 

String cheese?

Check out what a co-worker of mine found in her snack-sized bag of Cheezits(tm):

Yep, that string was baked right in. 

Yum yum!

Rock and Roll (Isn’t) Over

The lyrics are sophomoric.

The chords are few.

The album cover looks like it was designed by a 14-year old.

KISS is back!

I got a sneak preview of KISS’s upcoming release, Sonic Boom, and for the most part I liked what I heard.

I’m fully aware that reviewing an album such as this is pointless.  Regardless of what anyone says, if you’re a KISS fan you’re going to buy it on release day, and if you don’t like KISS by now you never will.

So this exercise in futility will be brief.

KISS fans probably won’t be disappointed by this album.  In promoting this album, Paul (or was it Gene?) has said that Sonic Boom evokes memories of their 1976 album, Rock and Roll Over.  High praise indeed, considering RARO was one of their best albums, recorded back when Peter Criss could still play (It has one of the best drum sounds in recorded rock history.), and before the band turned into cartoon characters appealing more to children than adults.

From the opening chords of the first song, “Modern Day Delilah,” the comparison holds up.  As a matter of fact, the first song is the best on the album, which makes the first listen through somewhat anticlimactic.  But the rest of the tunes are pretty darn good too.

The only disaster on the album is a cliche-filled attempt at a rock anthem titled “All For The Glory.”  It sounds like it was written by the same 14-year old who designed the cover.  I mean, you won’t find more cheese in the Kroger deli. 

Like most KISS efforts there’s a decent mix of Paul and Gene on vocals, with a bit of Eric Singer thrown in. 

Gene is back to his Lick It Up-era playfulness with painfully corny lyrics such as

“You’re drawn to the flame
Your hands are tied
You wanna take me baby
All up inside.”

Keats it ain’t, but who cares?

Paul is reliable old Paul, with less Desmond Child and more rock behind his tunes this time.  “Danger Us” stands out as Paul’s best on this album.

Sonic Boom isn’t going to blow anyone away, nor will it revolutionize the genre.  But what it does is remind us of why we loved KISS to begin with.  There’s no preaching.  There’s no whining.  It’s not about saving the world.  It’s not about self-reflection.   It’s just straight up rock and roll that’s all about having a good time.

KISS fans will be able to put this album on, turn it up, and enjoy the hell out of it. 

And that’s all that matters. 

I’ll see you in line to buy it in October.

Your call is important to us

Bad customer service has become the norm rather than the exception.  Blogs are clogged — and sometimes based solely on — horror stories about dealing with customer service departments. 

Because good service is so rare, when I find it I feel like I should spread the word.  So here are some companies from which I’ve had excellent customer service (in no particular order):

1) Netflix.  I was having a very minor problem with one section of their website and their online “Help” gave me a phone number and case number.  The person I spoke to was quite possibly the nicest person on the planet.  She was friendly, spoke plain English, didn’t ask me to repeat my last name three times or give my address and phone number, and was knowledgeable about my issue. 

2) Amazon.  A Blu-ray player I ordered from them died about a week after I got it.  I processed the return online and had a new player in two business days.  They didn’t even wait until I had shipped the defective unit back to them before sending my replacement.  I received a nice note from a CSR apologizing for the trouble I had with the player and giving instructions on how to send it back — at no cost to me.

3)  Suddenlink (nee Charter Communications).  I know.  I’m surprised too.  I had cable and internet from them back when they were still called Charter, and I recall nothing but bad experiences with their customer service.  But recently I had a problem with my internet speeds and was shocked when a) I managed to get to a live person on the phone without too much hassle, and b) the person actually knew what he was talking about.  He didn’t even try to blame the problem on my computer (COUGHVERIZONCOUGH) or asked a stupid question such as “Are you sure the modem is plugged in”? 

4) Logitech.  Many moons ago I purchased their wireless controller for the PS2 (Remember when wireless game controllers weren’t standard?).  After using it for a couple of weeks I noticed a few of the face buttons started sticking when pressed in.  I called Logitech support and they immediately offered to send a replacement.  No questions asked.  They didn’t even ask me to send back the defective unit. 

5) Papa John’s Pizza, Patrick Street location in Charleston, WV.  Years ago I had a bad experience with a delivery order I placed with them.  I used their website to send feedback and explain what happened, and a few days later some coupons for a few free pies showed up in my mailbox.  Now the local franchise knows me so well it’s like Norm walking into Cheers when I stop in after work on a Friday.  Some great folks work there and their company overall seems to know what they’re doing.

6) Old Forester Bourbon.  A couple of years ago after trying OF for the first time I sent them an email telling them how much I enjoyed the bourbon and thanked them for sponsoring the Cincinnati Reds radio broadcasts.  A few days later an OF shot glass arrived in my mail box with a note of thanks.

It’s nice to know my business is important to some companies at least. 

Why I’m done with politics

Political debate used to be fun.  It used to be interesting.  But most importantly, it used to be based in reality.  People debated ideas and expressed opposing opinions, but for the most part those opinions were on some level defendable.

During the Clinton era the big debate was “Does lying about getting a hummer in the Oval Office warrant impeachment?”  Some said “Yay,” some said “Nay,” but each side was able to present a reasonable argument for their stance. 

During Bush Junior’s tenure one point of contention was “freedom versus security.”  Some argued that torture, elimination of Habeas Corpus, and warrantless wiretapping of US citizens were necessary tools in the “War on terra.”  Others felt that nothing was worth giving up those freedoms for.  The arguments inspired passion and heated debates, but each side had a legitimate position.

These days the big issue up for debate is Obama’s health care plan.  And suddenly one needn’t be concerned with having a legitimate position.  You just need to be loud.

When She Whom Shall Not Be Named coined the phrase “Death Squad” it had as much relation to the truth as Chris Brown has to the YWCA.

And when the honorable Representative Joe Wilson shouted “You lie!” during Obama’s speech to congress, he was flat out wrong. 

It’s frustrating and infuriating watching people cling to absolute lies and misrepresentations in the face of evidence to the contrary.  There’s no point in engaging that person or group in a discussion.  It’s like a student telling a math professor that 2 + 2 = 5 and refusing to reconsider his position even after being shown the textbook, simply because he hates the teacher.  Faced with enough students like that, the teacher would soon give up and find a new career.

There are legitimate arguments against Obama’s health care plan, and a reasonable debate could be had on the subject.  But unfortunately the arguments coming from loudest opponents are so alien to the actual facts of the issue that we may never get that debate.

Even if we did, who would listen?

Stay classy, Republicans

I have neither the heart nor the words to comment on this.  I think I’m done with politics. 

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/WireStory?id=8533721&page=1

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/09/joe-wilson-apologizes-for_n_281541.html

Huey Lewis and The News — on one hand.

I’ve been listening to one of Huey’s greatest hits albums recently.  I’d forgotten how good some of that stuff is. 

I think I could count on one hand:

- the number of songs that are more fun than “Hip To Be Square.”

- the number of songs that are more representative of the 80s (in a good way) than “Power of Love.”

- the number of songs that were more of a direct ripoff than “Ghostbusters” was of “I Want a New Drug.”

- the number of bands with horn sections (and not horn synth) that have made it into the top 10 on the pop charts in the last 20 years.

- the number of hit songs more annoyingly happy but still listenable than “Stuck With You.” 

- the number of 80s video chicks hotter than the one from the “If This Is It” video.

 

Thanks for the memories, Huey.